One of the questions I frequently get from women with PCOS is, “How do I explain PCOS to my husband/spouse/partner?” PCOS for husbands and partners is a very real dilemma, and explaining it to them can be very challenging. Here is an introduction to PCOS for husbands and partners. Just ask them to read this post and you will be off to a good start!
Things to Know If Your Partner Has PCOS:
She didn’t cause it; she was born with it. Something stressful in her life or environment probably contributed to making it seem to appear suddenly.
There is no “PCOS for Husbands” or “PCOS for Partners” class; you’re going to have to work a little to figure this out.
Even though the symptoms sound the same, every woman’s PCOS is different.
There are degrees of difficulty with PCOS. Some women have a very mild case, and some have it more severely, or have more or more complex issues.
Symptoms definitely can vary by time of month, even if a woman doesn’t get her period.
Not getting her period doesn’t automatically mean she’s pregnant.
Having problems getting pregnant – if pregnancy is what the two of you want – is really painful for her.
Losing weight is usually much harder for her than it is for other women. “PCOS for Husbands/Partners” hot tip: be ultra-supportive when she’s trying to lose weight.
You may not care what size she is or if she has extra facial hair, but she probably cares far more than you know.
Her sex drive is just as likely to be non-existent as much stronger than average, thanks to extra testosterone.
PCOS causes quite a hit on a woman’s sense of femininity. You can be helpful by reminding her how much you love and cherish her womanliness.
How to Talk to Your Partner About PCOS:
Be kind, gentle, and also honest. It can be a sensitive topic.
Talk about PCOS from a hopeful and optimistic — but realistic — perspective.
Remember that PCOS is an ongoing conversation that changes throughout her lifetime. That means it changes for you too, and your understanding needs to change with it.
A little humor can be helpful when dealing with PCOS for husbands and partners –just don’t push it too far.
Offer to go to doctor appointments, procedures and the pharmacy with her.
Offer solutions; but mostly, just listen to her worries.
Be willing to pull back a little and let her be the authority on this.
If she’s starting a new eating plan or fertility enhancement plan (such as the ones at RESOLVE), go along for the ride. Whatever it is will probably benefit you, too.
Talk about how PCOS is affecting you as her husband or partner.
Things for Couples to Keep in Mind:
Yes, this is going to affect your sex life.
Infertility is a huge set of stressors, on top of normal life stressors. See this blog on PCOS and infertility for more information on this topic.
PCOS can actually be a source of fun and gratitude. You might discover that working out together, or cooking healthier meals together, is good couple’s time.
Don’t make PCOS the central focus of your lives.
PCOS is a challenge for couples, that’s for sure. It’s important to stay conscious and have ongoing discussions about how PCOS affects both of your lives. Be willing to be flexible about how you do things. Your relationship will actually grow stronger as you work out solutions together. Keep checking back to the PCOS Wellness Blog for more information on thriving as a couple when one partner has PCOS.
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