Sex, love, dating, marriage, relationships – what a complicated scene all of that is! And when the “scene” is PCOS and sex — well, you can just imagine!
In addition to all the usual factors like age, race, religion and careers, women with PCOS have to consider their health, having children, and how to overcome PCOS-related physical “flaws” that make them feel unattractive. And that’s before you even get to the sex!
It’s time to get real about PCOS and sex. Read on while I tackle body-image issues, self-love and fertility in the context of your sex life.
Sex is about so much more than “insert Part A into Part B and achieve orgasm.” But that’s what we often reduce sex to. The truth is, sex is far more mental and emotional than it is physical. And you have to consider all of that when you’re looking to achieve a satisfying love life.
Women with PCOS often feel as if they are lacking in femininity. Having a beard, moustache, deeper voice or thinning hair can definitely make you feel more like a dude than a dame. If you’re feeling like PCOS has stolen your femininity, it’s time to do some work to feel like a woman again. This will increase your self-confidence, and self-confidence is a very sexy thing.
Fertility issues are another thing that can damage your love life. If you’re dealing with infertility, it can be difficult to love yourself, let alone to think about loving someone else. PCOS and sex don’t always feel like an attractive match.
Practicing acceptance can enhance self-love and make you more attractive to others. Your fertility/infertility doesn’t make you less of a woman, or less attractive, or less deserving of sexual satisfaction.
Fatness is another common cause of low self-esteem in women with PCOS. Fat, hair, skin tags, akanthosis nigricans (skin darkening), and acne can all wreak havoc with your self-esteem.
While making love with the lights off may sound good, most partners are just grateful to be naked with you. Can you relax a little — just a tiny bit? It will make all the difference in the world.
PCOS and sex can, however, be a powerful combination. If you happen to be one of the women with a higher-than-average libido due to extra testosterone, be bold. Let your partner know that you’re interested and see what ensues.
Being single doesn’t have to mean no sex. Knowing, loving, and pleasuring your own body through masturbation is a fantastic way to explore what you enjoy. (And yes, I mentioned this out loud to hundreds of people in Los Angeles at the 2015 PCOS Challenge Symposium.) Masturbation can also prepare you to be a better and more responsive lover, if and when you’re in a relationship.
Sometimes PCOS and sex is problematic because you’ve got some body image issues. And sometimes there are physical limitations, not just mental ones. This calls for some creativity on your part.
You may need to do some research on sexuality and disability if you are limited in your ability to “just have sex.” It’s worth taking the time to figure out alternative positions and practices so you can enjoy a healthy sex life.
Get bold and brave when talking about PCOS and sex, and it will undoubtedly improve your experiences. Be willing to explore size-friendly and ability/disability adaptations. Remember, knowledge is power!
For further information and advice on this topic, send me a message and ask me your burning questions – I’ll respond in one of my next blog posts! You’ll also find more hot tips about PCOS and sex, love and relationships, and plenty of health information on my site.
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